


The Man in Armani

by Kaffee



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humanstuck, Karkat teaching children hold onto your hats everyone, M/M, Multi, eventual multiple pairings, toddler!Alphas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-06-10
Updated: 2012-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-07 10:10:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/429847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaffee/pseuds/Kaffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat isn't your conventional kindergarten teacher. In fact, he's probably the last person you would want to see around children. However, he loves his job and is happy to be there. Especially this school year, because he has high hopes for his class. Despite his excitement, he's not too sure about the platinum blonde in shades, dressed in the most expensive suit he's ever seen, that makes his stomach do that weird flip it hasn't done in years.</p><p>Based on the headcanon by Jotaku. Cross-posted to FF and tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Man in Armani

Ah, the first day of school, how beautiful it was. The sky was clear, the air was crisp, and a light September breeze ruffled Karkat's hair as he stood outside the school watching the drop-off drive fill up with cars. There were already several older kids, the third and fourth-graders, milling about on the grass, chatting to old friends, laughing with new ones. Karkat couldn't deny it made his heart swell with how little these kids were bothered by the world. They only had each other in the present moment, and that was all they needed.

Karkat shifted his weight between his feet and sighed, looking up at where the American flag was lazily flapping around the flagpole; the wind would probably pick up later in the day. There was a sudden tap on his shoulder and he turned around to meet the shining green eyes of his teaching assistant, Kanaya. She smiled at him serenely.

"Your room is ready, you can go ahead and head back to meet the parents," she said before moving her eyes down to the clipboard in her hand. Kanaya was technically Karkat's assistant, but she was so proficient that she had quickly become a full office employee within months of working at the school. She took care of everything, quickly and efficiently, and was one of the most well-liked employees around.

Karkat spared another look back to the kids on the field around him before nodding. "You got it covered out here?"

"Of course. I've had it covered since September last year." She gave a tiny smirk before gently shoving him in the direction of the school. "Go on, don't want to keep everyone waiting, do you?"

"Oh shut up," he retorted, glancing around him to make sure none of the kids heard him, "The kids are the least of my worries, the parents are what I gotta look out for." He rolled his eyes before waving at hand at her and stalking back to the school. "See you later, Kanaya, don't get run over by the stampede," he called over his shoulder.

"I assure you I won't! You can't get rid of me that easily, Karkat Vantas!" She laughed and turned back around to greet the parents.

\---

Karkat's classroom was on the east end of the school, the windows that spanned the wall looking out onto the soccer field. It was also tucked away at the end of a hall, so that when Karkat slipped and cursed around his students, no one in neighboring classrooms could hear it. The brunette teacher slumped into his room, glaring at the 'Bad Word Box' perched on the corner of his desk.

Last year, he had had trouble holding his tongue in front of the kids, so he'd come up with a game of if he said a bad word (which he did a lot of), he would have to put one dollar in the tub that had once held a massive amount of cheese puffs. By the end of the year, there was enough money in it to pay for a pizza party for the kids. It was a fun game, and the prospect of pizza and a chance at a prize out of the treasure box was enough incentive to keep his students from repeating his expletives or telling their parents what Mr. Vantas was saying.

Karkat leaned back against his desk and crosses his ankles over each other. His hands found their way into his hair as he scratched his scalp tiredly; after a summer of sleeping in, getting up at six in the morning was hell. Despite everything, though, he was looking forward to the school year. He loved his job and every day was like magic. Children were so innocent and carefree it was relieving to the constant stress put upon him by everyday worries.

Yes, this would be a good crop of students, and the year would be perfect and eventful, and he most certainly would not have to send anyone to time-out. Karkat allowed a small smile onto his features before he stood up straight and pushed the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows; the sound of footsteps and high-pitched voices was permeating the barrier between the hallway and the room.

Time to get this show on the road.

\---

Meeting the parents of his students was definitely eventful, albeit short-lived. Kids filed into the room one by one and gathered on the cityscape carpet in the back, having not been assigned seats yet, while the parents came up to Karkat with either greetings or warnings; several children had hyperactive tendencies, others had unique medicine. Many of the adults didn't stay, having to rush off to work, but eventually the room was full of laughing and squealing five-year-olds. Karkat watched them for a while before he picked up his attendance list and made his away to the back of the room.

As he made to sit down, the door to the classroom opened once more and two boys rushed into the room, holding hands and swiftly joining the rest of the class. The shorter of the two, with messy black hair and unfortunate front teeth, seemed to be the more aggressive, and he quickly introduced himself and his friend, whose wild blonde hair and characteristic pointed sunglasses would make him easy to remember. Karkat watched as they nestled in between two girls and the darker-haired boy began to talk again.

"You the teacher?"

Karkat spun around on the spot at the voice, and raised an eyebrow at who he could only guess was the parent or guardian of the boy with the pointy shades. The man stood about a head taller than Karkat himself, lanky, with bleach-blonde hair and dressed to the nines in a crisp suit. His eyes were hidden by another pair of shades (these more manageable, but awkwardly mirrored enough that Karkat couldn't look at them without looking himself in the eye), and his features were sharp and attractive. Karkat crossed his arms.

"Who else would I be?" he replied, looking the other man up and down.

The tall blonde smirked. "A teacher's aide? How would I know. Anyway, I'm Dave Strider, Dirk's my little brother. Don't make him take off his shades, he's got a light sensitivity," he explained. He edged around Karkat and leaned down to ruffle the tinier blonde's – Dirk, he would have to remember – hair. "Be good, little man. Jake, take care of him, alright?"

"Yes sir, Mr. Strider, sir!" the buck-toothed boy piped up, saluting smartly.

Dave huffed a small laugh before heading back over to Karkat. He slapped a hand against the teacher's shoulder in a friendly gesture, but only earned himself a small gasp of surprise and a frown. "Good luck, teach. I'll pick them both up at the end of the day." With four long strides he was out of the room once more.

Karkat glared at the door where the shaded blonde had been before sighing and turning back to his students. "Good morning, guys!" he greeted, dropping down to sit next to them all and setting his attendance list in his lap. A happy chorus of 'good morning' reached Karkat's ears and his smile twitched in excitement. Yes, this was going to be a good class. "My name is Mr. Vantas, but you can call me Mr. V. if you want. Now, can I get everyone to sit in a big circle? We're gonna play a little name game so we can all meet each other."

Suddenly there was an excited hustle as everyone stood and shuffled around before plopping back down in a crude imitation of a circle. The general idea was there, though, so Karkat let it slide; he noticed that Jake and Dirk still held each other's hands. Another tiny smile broke on his lips.

"Alright! So are you ready to hear what we're gonna do?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay! What we're gonna play is the 'Name Game.' I'll start off, and we'll go all the way around the circle until we get back to me. Now, what I want everyone to do is to tell everyone your name, but you have to say one word about you that starts with the same letter as your name." He glanced around the circle and swiftly noticed the confused looks he was getting. He pulled another smile. "My name is Karkat, so I would say, Kooky Karkat," he explained, twirling his index fingers around his temples to look like he was crazy. The class erupted into giggles automatically and Karkat felt it safe to make a couple more silly faces before he calmed them down. "So do you get it?"

"Yeah!"

"Okaaaay! So we'll start on my left here," he said, placing hand on the shoulder of the blonde girl beside him. "Tell us one word about you, and then tell us your name."

The girl's wide blue eyes looked terrified as she looked around the circle and twirled her braided pigtails in her hands. "I-I'm, um, I'm… Pretty Pansy?" she mumbled before smiling widely.

Karkat returned her grin quickly. "Very good! It's nice to meet you, Pansy," he replied. She giggled and squirmed in place. "Okay, now you," he said to the boy on her left.

"I'm Dinosaur Danny! Rawwwr!" the boy said, growling at the class with his hands up like claws. Another fit of laughter rang out around the circle, and all of a sudden the game picked up.

'Random Roxy' and 'Jolly Jane' ended up being the girls surrounding 'Dangerous Dirk' and 'Jumpy Jake,' and it appeared that 'Charismatic Cathy' was going to be the class know-it-all. Karkat noticed Dirk and Jake share a look that only they seemed to understand when the brunette girl said her name in a haughty tone; the teacher was regretting not keeping an eye on the girl's parents when they had dropped her off. He was certain they were the snobby rich type.

Eventually the game came to an end, and Karkat checked everyone as 'present' on his roster. He assigned seats, being sure to keep Dirk and Jake together (it seemed that Jake had quite the hold on his friend, and damned if Karkat would be the one to split them up), and began passing out cards and markers for everyone to design their own name tags. He had the names of each of his students memorized within the hour, but it was necessary for the kids to learn each other's name as well.

When nap-time came at noon, he couldn't help but notice Dirk and Jake curled together on their mats. Those boys would be the best of friends forever.

\---

The rest of the day was filled with learning the rules of the classroom, liking asking to go 'potty' and where to keep backpacks and lunchboxes. Luckily enough, Karkat held the attention of everyone through his admittedly boring explanations that would likely be forgotten, but it was a good start.

By the time two-thirty rolled around and the bell rang, the classroom was littered with paper and markers from free-time and Karkat was more than a little frazzled. His fluffy black hair was more mussed than usual, and his shirt was un-tucked. He learned early on that Dinosaur Danny liked to reiterate his namesake by stomping around like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, and Dirk was the brave prince that wielded a sword to slay the ferocious monster. The boys had put on quite the show, and Karkat had to promise that a full play would be recreated; Roxy volunteered herself for the role of the Princess.

The parents began filing in moments after the bell rang, and Karkat took a mental note of the way Cathy's parents pointedly ignored him. Roxy's mom came in alone and thanked the brunette teacher for 'taking care of her little girl,' and Jane's father shook his hand and wished him luck. Pansy's parents smiled shyly as Karkat and left in a hurry, seemingly just as awkward as the little girl had been at the beginning of the Name Game.

Soon enough, the classroom was empty save for Dirk and Jake, who sat at their table cleaning up their craft mess in a companionable silence. Karkat was beginning to worry when the clock struck three and no one had come for the boys when the door to the classroom opened and Dave waltzed through, his eyes glued to the iPhone in his hand (Karkat supposed, considering he still couldn't see his eyes through the shades on his face).

Dave tore his gaze from his phone just long enough to see Karkat sitting at the table with the last of his charges , sticking markers back in their boxes in color order; the boxes wouldn't last long, and the pens would be transferred to tubs soon. Karkat stood and made his way over to the platinum blonde man.

"Took you long enough, again" he said, certain that the banter from that morning was friendly. His hands went to the pockets on the small apron he wore (to prevent stains, duh) and his head tilted in curiosity.

Dave shoved his phone into his own pocket and he smirked at Karkat again. "I'm a busy guy. Bitches love me," he retorted.

"I can safely assume that's not really the case, now is it, Mr. Strider?" Karkat challenged. This Dave guy seemed like a total prick, how was it that he was in charge of two of his best students so far?

Dave paused, and the shorter brunette noticed his thin lips part and quirk up into a smile. "Alright, you caught me." His attention was diverted to the boys behind Karkat, who were gathering up their backpacks. "You ready to go, guys?" Dirk seemed to take the lead, moving to stand behind Dave's long legs while Jake stood beside him, looking around the classroom excitedly. Karkat watched with lingering affection as Dave ruffled his brother's hair like he had that morning.

A scrawny, pale hand was held out to Karkat, and he hesitated before glancing back up to Dave's face, trying to meet his eyes but failing miserably. He reached out and grasped the other man's hand with his own tan one; Dave's skin was cold, but his touch was firm and electric. Karkat swallowed a tiny lump that had formed in his throat.

"So, see you at parent-teacher night?"

"Yeah. See you. And see you guys tomorrow, huh?" he said, finally tearing his gaze away from Dave to grin down at Dirk and Jake; the brunette boy was more eager to return the sentiment.

"See you tomorrow, Mr. V.!"

There was a small shuffle as the three turned and left the room, Jake immediately erupting into stories of what had occurred over the school day.

Karkat did not miss the way that Dave looked back at him with intense contemplation.

\---

Later that evening, after cleaning his classroom and walking the five blocks back to his shitty apartment, Karkat flopped onto his couch with a heavy sigh.

The day had gone amazingly well. He had gotten the class of his dreams, nothing had gone wrong, and even better, he hadn't had to sacrifice his wallet to the Bad Word Box. Not bad for the first day back.

Then, he rolled over, and his thoughts strayed to Dave Strider.

The guy was a douche, that much was for sure, and Karkat was even more sure that he was a loaded douche, judging from the Armani suit and the Rolex he'd caught a glimpse of when they'd shaken hands. He brought the offending appendage up to his face, realizing that he still felt the tense chill of Dave's skin against his own.

He flinched and growled suddenly, standing up and retreating to the kitchen to crack open a beer. As the refrigerator clicked shut, Karkat slammed his forehead against the freezer door.

"Idon'tthinkhe'shot, Idon'tthinkhe'shot, Idon'tthinkhe'shot," he mumbled under his breath, teeth clenched and cheeks turning furiously red.

"Oh my god I think he's hot."


End file.
